Been doing a lot of what I claim to to detest.

Remember how I said I generally don’t like felting?

My last 3 projects have been felted. No, wait. I mean 4, because I have one on the needles. A total of 4 felted projects from the lady who doesn’t like felting.

I made another French Market Bag. I gave my mom the grey one (the first one) as a mother’s day present because it turned out better than the newer version, which is blue. Both are pretty, and perfectly serviceable. But the grey one was a little deeper and I thought she could get better use of it. This brings us to one of the reasons I don’t like felting: the unpredictable nature there of. Same pattern, same yarn, same washing machine, same jeans thrown in for agitation. Two different results. So it goes, and the world doesn’t end, but while some people like the “aha!” nature of felting, I’m a little too high strung to withstand the stress of not knowing what you’re going to pull out of the washer, especially after you’ve invested more than a few hours and your hard earned monies into it.

So what’s the first thing I do? Whip up a fair of felted French Press Slippers with my Maryland Sheep and Wool mini-haul. These took, like, NO TIME to finish. One night of insomnia later, I have me some massive giant slipper things.

Threw ‘em in the washer, checked ‘em every five minutes…and waited…waited…waited…for a total of 1 hour, 10 minutes in the washer before they adequately felted. My swatch? Done in 15 minutes. STUPID UNPREDICTABLE TECHNIQUE. Also, they looked like drowned muppets when I pulled them out of the water. But the pattern is so easy, and with such great payoff, that I still say it’s worth it. If I decide to do more (thinking Christmakuh) I will probably invest in some US 15 circulars. I *hate* using straights and do pretty much everything on circulars. I didn’t even realize I had any 15s; I stumbled across them looking for buttons. I must have bought them when I was just learning to knit.

Anyway, drowned muppets. I stuffed them to form and let them dry, and then they just looked like muppet skins, but not necessarily drowned. That is to say, they were very fuzzy.

So I introduced them to Ms. Scissors and Mr. Disposable Razor. The slippers got a haircut, I added some vintage buttons that had belonged to my great grandmother.

And then I sat down on the couch saying, “Whew! Glad that’s done! What to knit next? I know! How about another pair of the same pattern? Because, you see, the definition of insanity is repeating the same actions while expecting a different result each time.” And immediately cast on for a second pair of slippers (but in a non-muppetting yarn).

The Evolution of the French Market (Bag)

I have a new favorite little bag. And I’ve got another one underway for my mom. Allow me to guide you through my process.

3/23: Cast on. Think, “This is going to be a super-quick and easy knit! It’s all stockinette! That means I can knit AND watch TV without having to worry about following a chart.  LET’S WATCH 21 JUMP STREET ON NETFLIX STREAMING.”

3/24: Determine that Johnny Depp is actually Harry Potter. Start to feel ashamed about how many episodes of 21 Jump St. I’ve watched in one day.

4/4: Celebrate Zombie Waffle Sunday by inviting friends over for waffles and a veganized version of Joy the Baker’s Cornmeal Molasses Pancakes. Watch 3 zombie movies and finish most of the body plus one handle.

4/5-4/8: Find that my 21 lb. cat has determined that the only comfortable place to sleep is on top of this specific WIP. Weigh risk of having face ripped off vs. retrieving project. Decide to keep face.

4/9: Kitty lured away by rustle of treat bag. WIP hastened away. Last handle done.

4/10: Felt in one pass in the washer. LOVE IT. It’s like a fuzzy bowl with handles. Imagine how perfect this is going to be perfect for the farmer’s market. Consider embroidering something on the side. Contemplate how likely it is that you’ll actually follow up on that idea. Decide that my French Market Bag is perfect just like it is. Fill with apples and tomatoes.