My cat doesn’t care if I get eaten by zombies, apparently.

This is Miss Kitty Fantastico. She’s a cat, as you can see, and she’s pretty much the center of my universe (Sorry, guy-I-married).

Kitty is most awesome cat ever and everything she does is perfect, except one little thing that may end up with me getting my brain eaten by an infected hoard.  While she spends most of her time being adorable,  Kitty does one thing that’s not awesome. She unlocks doors. Specifically, she unlocks our dining room door on a regular basis. It’s a sliding glass door and we use a heavy wooden dowel to block the slide-track and keep the door closed. Miss Kitty, who is a rubinesque 6 year old 22 lb.  Maine Coon, is able to paw the dowel out of the track, leaving the door unsecured and us vulnerable to zombie attack.

Whenever we see her starting to fuss with the door, we chase her off and lecture her about the dangers of zombies.

Apparently I’ve taken this too far.  I just finished this beautiful scarf and when I went outside to take this picture, she locked me out of the house. This left me vulnerable to the zombie hoard in an entirely different way.

Somehow she managed to push the dowel back into the track, blocking the door shut again.

My natural reaction was to run in a circle and scream for Mr. Begonia to come rescue me, because it was hot and sunny and I was without sunscreen and I am a delicate flower who will BURN in ten seconds. My instinct was not to walk 50 feet around to the house to the front door, which was totally unlocked.

My dog was trapped with me. Her reaction? To plop down in a sunny spot and take a nap while the crazy lady did her crazy dance.

Once we got inside, Miyagi solemnly congratulated me on surviving being in the sun for 3 whole minutes.

Now, a note on the scarf. It’s the Cocquille Shawl pattern from Knitty. It’s a really great pattern and it took me about 2 weeks of intermittent attention to finish it up. I did alter it, though, by adding a few extra gussets in each set and an extra set of garter repeats at each segment. I did this to use up as much of my yarn as I could. I think I had about 1200 yards, and this used up at least 800. So I should have enough left for some matching gloves.

The yarn? It’s a mystery. Because I lost the tag. The house has been torn apart in search, but alas: nada. I know I got it at the Bonita Knit and Sew in California last summer when Mr. Begonia and I were visiting his brother in San Diego. I remember this specifically because I almost accidentally drove into Mexico looking for the shop. But it looks like they have since closed. All I know is that it’s a light fingering weight, I’m pretty sure it’s alpaca, and it’s sinfully soft and smooshy. It wouldn’t protect me from zombies, though.

Today I want to hug the universe right in it’s stupid face.

A friend of mine has cancer. Cancer fucking sucks. Yeah, I know that’s not news to anyone. But it’s worth restating. Cancer. Fucking. Sucks. My friend is going to be OK, which is why I want to hug the universe in it’s stupid face instead of wanting to punch it. (For the moment.) But it reminds me that I have it really, really good. The worse thing that happened to me today was that I got bad cream in my coffee at the diner and I wasted 90 minutes watching a really crappy movie on Netflix streaming. If those are the worst things to happen today, I’ve got NOTHING to complain about.

There’s lots of stuff that the movies and TV doesn’t tell you about cancer and treatment because it’s not dramatically glamorous. Like your eyelashes fall out, your fingers and toes swell up until your nails fall off, that chemo damages your senses until all food tastes like dirt, or that your skin turns blue and green and you have to have ports and tubes surgically implanted and you can’t hug your kid until they get taken out. Like I said. Cancer. Fucking. Sucks.

People respond to stress and bad news in different ways, and of course friends want to help. And my friends is lucky to have lots of friends and family who love her into a million pieces and want to do everything they can. Unfortunately, when it comes to heavy stuff like cancer there’s not a lot you can do for someone else. Seriously, if I could be all like, “Hey, I’ll take this round of chemo for you. Go relax for a while. I got this,” I totally would do it. But it’s not like picking up the check at the diner. You gotta leave the tough stuff to the medical professionals and the even more tough stuff to the patient. But pretty much most of us just have to sit around and wait. And worry. And wait. And worry. And wait. And worry. And wait more even when time seems to have slowed down to 1/8th normal speed. And repeat.

So what can you do on the sidelines? While you’re doing all that waiting and fingers-crossing and positive-thoughts-sending? There’s always something to do. Better to keep busy than to sit around do all that idle worrying.

So, I knit a few chemo caps.

And baked cookies to eat in the waiting room at the hospital.

I knit this pair of Official Slipper-Socks For Kicking Cancer In The Face.

And sewed up a few headscarves for when the weather was too warm for a thick hat.

But when that’s done, then you go back to the worrying. And the waiting. Because all the worrying and waiting you’re doing? Your friend is waiting and worrying a whole hell of a lot more, times like a bajillion. So that’s important to remember.

That’s pretty much all I can do. It doesn’t make me feel any more in control of a universe that I’m pissed at for messing around with my friend. But if it makes an almost intolerably horrid situation slightly more tolerable to deal with for her, then I’m glad to do it.

What I did learn is that while Ravelry will hook up you with a ton of good, free chemo cap patterns to knit or crochet, there aren’t a lot of DIY options for sewn head scarves out there. Well, I mean there aren’t a lot of GOOD options out there. Googling “chemo scarf pattern” or any variation will bring up a lot of duds on websites last updated in 1997. Here are few of the ones that I used as baseline guides, with good results, though a plain hemmed 36” square seemed to work the best.

This turban was quick and simple, and the instructions are fairly clear.

The layout on this site makes the pattern a little hard to understand, but if you read through it a few times, you’ll glean how to make this doo-rag style cap.

This isn’t a pattern, per say, but if you’re an intermediate or above seamster, you can figure it out from the pictures.

So there you go; maybe those links will come in handy one day. All of them are easy enough and I ended up making 5 or 6 scarves in a few different styles in one afternoon. I  really, really hope not, but reality is stupid sometimes. Yeah, this went to a more depressing place than I intended, so let me just end by saying friend is awesome and totally kicked Cancer in it’s stupid, ugly face and I’m so happy about it that I’m considering hiring a skywriter.

Been doing a lot of what I claim to to detest.

Remember how I said I generally don’t like felting?

My last 3 projects have been felted. No, wait. I mean 4, because I have one on the needles. A total of 4 felted projects from the lady who doesn’t like felting.

I made another French Market Bag. I gave my mom the grey one (the first one) as a mother’s day present because it turned out better than the newer version, which is blue. Both are pretty, and perfectly serviceable. But the grey one was a little deeper and I thought she could get better use of it. This brings us to one of the reasons I don’t like felting: the unpredictable nature there of. Same pattern, same yarn, same washing machine, same jeans thrown in for agitation. Two different results. So it goes, and the world doesn’t end, but while some people like the “aha!” nature of felting, I’m a little too high strung to withstand the stress of not knowing what you’re going to pull out of the washer, especially after you’ve invested more than a few hours and your hard earned monies into it.

So what’s the first thing I do? Whip up a fair of felted French Press Slippers with my Maryland Sheep and Wool mini-haul. These took, like, NO TIME to finish. One night of insomnia later, I have me some massive giant slipper things.

Threw ‘em in the washer, checked ‘em every five minutes…and waited…waited…waited…for a total of 1 hour, 10 minutes in the washer before they adequately felted. My swatch? Done in 15 minutes. STUPID UNPREDICTABLE TECHNIQUE. Also, they looked like drowned muppets when I pulled them out of the water. But the pattern is so easy, and with such great payoff, that I still say it’s worth it. If I decide to do more (thinking Christmakuh) I will probably invest in some US 15 circulars. I *hate* using straights and do pretty much everything on circulars. I didn’t even realize I had any 15s; I stumbled across them looking for buttons. I must have bought them when I was just learning to knit.

Anyway, drowned muppets. I stuffed them to form and let them dry, and then they just looked like muppet skins, but not necessarily drowned. That is to say, they were very fuzzy.

So I introduced them to Ms. Scissors and Mr. Disposable Razor. The slippers got a haircut, I added some vintage buttons that had belonged to my great grandmother.

And then I sat down on the couch saying, “Whew! Glad that’s done! What to knit next? I know! How about another pair of the same pattern? Because, you see, the definition of insanity is repeating the same actions while expecting a different result each time.” And immediately cast on for a second pair of slippers (but in a non-muppetting yarn).

Wise and True Words

A few days ago I made a new Ravelry Friend who has the most astute “About Me” on her profile that I’ve ever seen.

I quote: A non-breeder knitting for the baby explosion surrounding me.

Yup. That says it all pretty well.

And we had a blizzard about 3 months ago.  Suddenly, I have a lot of friends who find themselves in need of baby socks.

One pair of teeny tiny socks down (these are for a lovely co-worker), so many more pairs of teeny tiny socks to go. I don’t mind. My mission is to keep all the adorable baby feet warm.

The Evolution of the French Market (Bag)

I have a new favorite little bag. And I’ve got another one underway for my mom. Allow me to guide you through my process.

3/23: Cast on. Think, “This is going to be a super-quick and easy knit! It’s all stockinette! That means I can knit AND watch TV without having to worry about following a chart.  LET’S WATCH 21 JUMP STREET ON NETFLIX STREAMING.”

3/24: Determine that Johnny Depp is actually Harry Potter. Start to feel ashamed about how many episodes of 21 Jump St. I’ve watched in one day.

4/4: Celebrate Zombie Waffle Sunday by inviting friends over for waffles and a veganized version of Joy the Baker’s Cornmeal Molasses Pancakes. Watch 3 zombie movies and finish most of the body plus one handle.

4/5-4/8: Find that my 21 lb. cat has determined that the only comfortable place to sleep is on top of this specific WIP. Weigh risk of having face ripped off vs. retrieving project. Decide to keep face.

4/9: Kitty lured away by rustle of treat bag. WIP hastened away. Last handle done.

4/10: Felt in one pass in the washer. LOVE IT. It’s like a fuzzy bowl with handles. Imagine how perfect this is going to be perfect for the farmer’s market. Consider embroidering something on the side. Contemplate how likely it is that you’ll actually follow up on that idea. Decide that my French Market Bag is perfect just like it is. Fill with apples and tomatoes.

If you know someone awesome, make them these equally awesome socks.

Do you have a sister? You do? You’re lucky! Is she awesome?  My sister is awesome, just so you know. If you’ve got an awesome sister like mine, you might want to knit her some equally awesome socks. May I suggest these, which I made for my sister?

These are “Grün ist die Hoffnung” although mine are not Grün, they are Kürbis. I knit mine waaaay off the recommended gauge, but it worked just fine. I used US 3 needles instead of US 1, and used Knit Picks Stroll.  I wanted the medallion to be the main component of the design, with less stockinette  all around (because bor-ing.)  For a pair of ankle socks it took just one skein. I also didn’t really “follow the instructions” of the pattern beyond the chart. I “loosely interpreted the instructions” would be a better way to say it.

All that aside, this is my new favorite way to knit sicks. You start with a minimal cast on and work the top flat, then turn the whole thing at the toe like you would a heel, knit it up like a pocket, turn the heel for realsies, and then finish like you would any other toe-up sock. Easy-peasy and pretty quick. Also, a nice break from the standard method.

Usually when I knit a pair of socks, I’m all like: See you in hell, pattern! and never want to work that particular pattern again. Not these–I could knit like TEN of these before I got bored. I won’t, but I will knit at least two, because I already started a pair for me.

My Ravelympics Fail

I failed at the 2010 Ravlympics 1000x before they even started, beginning with forgetting to register with any teams. Probably better that I didn’t since I ended up being a giant fail.

For lack of being on a team, I thought I’d be start my own team (Team Awesome) do a pair of Skew Socks for the Sock Dancing event and a Chocolate Square Neck Top for…I dunno…some event.

Then life happens and sometimes it’s not nice and I found myself knitting and sewing chemo caps and scarves for someone who is an honorary member of Team Awesome. By the way, cancer is stupid and I want to punch it in the junk. So Ravelympics slipped down a couple notches on the list of priorities. I did get one Skew sock complete and I did cast on for a second one. I also got through about ½ of the Square Neck top by the closing ceremonies. The top is now complete and the second Skew is cast on, but working on Team Awesome scarves and caps is still my #1 priority.

Here’s the Skew Sock. You might say, “Wow, Sophie. You knit a plain stockinette sock. Whoop-di-freaking-do!” But no, wait, look closer. The socks are knit diagonally, which only really become apparent with the variegated yarn, and the heel is knit sideways and closed in that the designer calls the “origami” moment. The ankle/cuff are knit in short rows. It was a little tough. Not too bad.  Too much math. Grrr, math. I hatez the math. Good results, though, and I’m looking forward to finishing the second one. I have about 3 inches done so far.

And here’s the top. I’m modded the pattern, however, due to my volcanic hatred of seaming. I never knit anything flat if I can knit it in the round, so that’s what I did for the top. I had to split it when I got to the armhole shaping, though, but that still reduced my seaming from “the whole thing” to “a few inches at the shoulders.”  I also raised the back neckline and lengthened the torso by about 5 inches. Also I think I’m going to add sleeves at some point. For funsies.

Also, I’m laughing in the picture because my cat tripped over her own tail and looked incredibley surprised to have done so.

And here’s an in-progress shot from the closing ceremonies, when I conceded defeat.

And now let’s talk about the yarn for a sec. The yummy, yummy yarn.

For the Skew socks, I decided to use this skein of Sheep Feet Knits that I’d been saving. I’m an unrepentant Lost Nerd  (as well as a Regular Nerd) so when I saw that they had a line of Lost themed-yarns, I snatched me up some Polar Bear In The Jungle on All Your Base. It’s a super cooshy, warm, soft yarn and I love how it’s coming up as I knit. I generally stick to solid colors and rarely do variegated yarns, but the pattern here really calls for it. No knots, splinters or rough spots in the whole skein.

For the Square Neck top, I dug up some Elsebeth Lavold Silky Wool. I love all of her yarns, but this is by far my favorite.

So when are the next Winter Olympics? 2014? Four years to get my act together? eeeeehhhh….that’s a longshot. Mr. Begonia has expressed interest in attending the 2018 Winter Olympics if they are in Germany or France, so that might be a more reasonable goal and rational motivator for me. I also fully expect Mr. Begonia to make the 2018 USA Olympic Men’s Curling team. (No pressure, sweetie. No pressure at all).

Miniature (Giant) Squid

Have you ever had a day where, no matter what you did, you just sucked at doing it?

Yeah. Me, too.

There was this day last week where I failed at gobs of things. Cookies got burned. Puppy dog tails got stepped on during playtime. Cups of coffee got spilled on freshly steam-cleaned carpets. Pasta got overcooked. Gloves (and yes, they were handmade gloves) got lost under the millions of feet of snow that kept me trapped in the house for nearly a week.

There’s a point where a girl just gives up, sits down, and knits herself a miniature Giant Squid out of some leftover Knit Picks Palette.

His name is Captain Phil in honor of the late captain of the Cornelia Marie, of Deadliest Catch fame.

Sick Day Owlings

So, uh…it’s pretty cold out. And not just “out.” It’s also cold “in.” Where ever I am, it seems to be pretty damn cold.

My hands are always, always cold. Home, work, bus. You name it, I’m cold. There are two things I like to do to stay warm: 1) Drink Hot Buttered Rum, and 2) wear fingerless mitts. But since I would be frowned upon for doing #1 for six months straight, I usually employ #2 to stave off frostbite. So, beginning around October, I start wearing fingerless mitts and don’t usually take them off until April.

The other six pairs I have suddenly all seemed old so I decided to make a new pair on an afternoon when I was coming down with a nasty cold that could only be treated by couch time. I made these in the span of about 3 hours with one skein of Knit Picks Telemark. The pattern is mindless enough that I could watch a movie and not really worry about messing up. Because I know you’re dying to know, I watched The King of Kong and 30 Rock. Not bad for an afternoon of being blasted on cold medicine.

The pattern is Owlings by destiknit. I did modify it a little because I couldn’t find a pair of US 6 DPNs, only a set of 7s, and I wanted them to be a bit more fitted in the wrist. So I reduced the cast on to 35 and lengthened the hand.

Do you see the owls? They are there, really. It’s sorta hard to see them at first. But I know they are there. And now you know they are there. So we’re all happy with my owl mitts.

Here is a Pro and Con List About Scarves

PRO:

Pretty!
Warm!
They make you feel French, sort of!
Fun to make!
Platforms for all the pretty pins your grandma gave you!
Pretty! (they are; it’s worth saying twice).
Easy to knit on the bus! (for a while; see CON list.)

CON:

Those patterns get pretty boring after the first 4 feet, and you still have 3-4 more to go.
They can take freaking ass forever to make.
Not so portable once they get really long.

I do love scarves and I do make a lot of them. They are excellent bus knitting and most of the patterns are easy to memorize so you can work without having the written instructions in front of you. But they can get tedious after 3 or 4 feet, especially when you’re working with lightweight yarn and smaller needles.

I tend to prefer to work scarves in DK or Sport weight yarn, which usually calls for needles sized 4 to 6. If I was knitting bulky weight on US 13s I obviously wouldn’t have much to complain about, but I just started an Alhambra in Bambool on US 5s. 8” in and it’s the sockweight Clapotis ennui all over again. I love the pattern, the yarn and the Addi Turbos but I just get discouraged when progress is less than lightspeed.

So, to temper that, I have some side projects to keep me engaged. One of these was this Sunray Scarf (Link to Free Ravelry Pattern Download here) which I worked in Cascade 220.

Worsted weight yarn on US 8 needles meant a 28” scarf only took a few days. I just got a new winter coat and wanted a small scarf or cowl or neckwarmer to wear with it. Actually, I want like 40 small scarves or cowls or neckwarmers because they are so quick and easy to knit. But I started with this one. If I do this pattern again, I think I will switch from a 3-stitch herringbone to a two stitch. The 3 is just a bit saggy, but I think that’s in large part due to my yarn choice.